The Polygon Blues

Lone Star Beer

Lone Star Beer (Photo credit: Steve and Sara)

I had a friend once who lived in Texas. I went to visit him in Austin, and we spent several days enjoying BBQ and checking out a variety of local bands. One night he decided we needed to go to a country honky-tonk dive he’d heard about, called Ego’s. I thought that was a strange name for a country bar, but after wandering around the neighborhood in the dark and asking strangers for directions, we found out that the reason we couldn’t find the place was because it was in the basement of an office building. Actually it was beneath the ground floor parking garage. I told my friend the place should have been named Id’s, rather than Ego’s, but we did eventually figure out how to get underground and find the front door.

It was a dive, all right. Heavy cigarette smoke, cheap neon lights advertising domestic beers, tables with peeling formica surfaces and wobbly chairs. We started drinking Lone Star and talking, and I don’t even remember the music. It was country, for sure, but all I remember was that after a number of “cheating” songs were played, and a number of Lone Stars consumed, I suggested to my friend that the days of the love triangle were long gone; a cheating song isn’t even an eyebrow raiser, anymore, it’s just cliche and dull.

He said something like, so what’s more interesting and modern than a love triangle? And I said something like, well, a least a love rectangle, or say, a love polygon. Y’know, a woman named Polly screws a bunch of people and then she’s gone, just like that. Polly gone.

Over the course of the night and into the next day we came up with a song we called “The Polygon Blues.” It was supposed to be about an amorous woman named Polly who has multiple partners, both men and women. She’s the star of her social circle. Then she skips town and devastates everyone. Her lovers all had names that suggested numbers: Mona, Dewey, Trey, Cathy, Quincy, Sexanna, Savannah, Octavia, Nona, Dixon. Something like that.

My friend wrote most of the “official” lyrics on his own over the next several weeks, although I think it came across in the end as more of a “geek rock” song than a country song. But I’ve always been hoping that someday, someone would record it; like maybe, the Austin Lounge Lizards.

Complex love triangles

Complex love triangles (Photo credit: Elias Abkar)

The Polygon Blues

[strummmm]

It’s been said many times that love is a many-splendored thang. But when is it too many? This is a song about the complex equation of love gone askew.

[dum, chik-a-dum, chik-a-dum, chik-a-dum]

Frankie and Johnny were lovers,
Mona and Dewey were friends.
Polly came along and she was so good at lovin’
She rocked them to the origin.
She whipped them all into shape
As easy as one two three.
It was higher mathematics
Meets orgasmic chemistry.

From Mona and Dewey she counted.
Everyone to Sevanna was hers.
Because for someone with such an angular body,
When she got naked she was nothing but curves.
They thought their love was unending
But down the line, she moved along.
She wants homologous lovers.
So long bye so long.

Who you going to do now that Polly’s gone?
You got the polygon blues.

No matter how sharp your pencil,
The answer keeps coming out wrong.
They didn’t know they were doing miscalculations,
And now Miss Polly is gone.
Polly left them
Trigonometric’lly confused.
A sad remainder.
Now they’ve got the Polygon blues.

Dewey thought he’d one over Mona,
But Mona couldn’t figure him out.
Any time Mona seemed obtuse to Dewey,
Polly would straighten him out.
That’s how sexual Polly ticks,
Working on her or him,
Squares both sides off, baby,
And then takes the route between them.

Mona loved Dewey and Frankie loved Johnny,
But Polly’s got an angle on every body.

. . . She had no fear of being intricate with strangers.

Polly taught all of her angles
to protractor skinny and wide
Supplement your transfersal at a cute angle,
She’d extend her complementary side.

It was the outer limits
In her geometry.
The plain truth is their hearts broke
Multidimensionally.
She won every disputation.
Nothing under the surface could hide.
Because when they made up, all her points would get made,
They made up down side to side.
She laid out a position
No one could untangle til dawn.
Chief of staff, Lawd,
after dark at the Pentagon

Who you going to do, now that Polly’s gone?
You got the polygon blues.
Now there’s a right and left to every body.
Triangles have one side more.
I’ve even heard of people who get four on the floor
But her architecture let her do more.
I mean, she really had a figure
Spoke a language you had to adore.
It was a lovazoid
Erected by the Babylon whore.

This story, it has no morals.
It has no scruples, too.
But maybe there’s a lesson for inquisitive people
Who can’t be with just one or two.
Connect with Polly,
And you’ll have the polygon blues.

Two and two is four, six and two is eight,
But with her you need a slide rule just to separate.
Who you going to do now that Polly’s gone?
You got the polygon blues.
She cleaves complexly.
You’ve got the polygon blues.
The polygon blues.

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